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Sounds good, love the stops

http://vocaroo.com/i/s0tl9Dqs1FZv

Been trying to figure out what else to add to this song. I like the sparseness of it but it needs something more I think

Personally I like the sparseness as well, but to a point. It feels like the kind of thing that keeps hinting at/promising something more but never takes that step. You added in little bits and pieces that encouraged the momentum but you never really capitalized on that. It gave me musical blue balls because I kept expecting it and it (and I) never came.

Just my 2 cents.

hmm you were expecting a bit of a buildup? :/

That kinda sucks because I've tried buildups before and somehow I end up losing the momentum or making it generic (like, the let's-do-the-same-thing-except-this-time-with-distortion kinda thing, which I can't really do for this song). Plus I'd probably need drums for even an Antlers or Bon Iver style buildup.

Thanks though, really.

yeah, i dunno why really. antlers vibe i could definitely see using that as a bit of a base for. probably just me though.

all of my stuff doesnt have lyrics. i write tons of lyrics i really like but they never fit any of the melodys i come up with that i like. so i have a big set of song ideas i like and a big set of lyrics i like but none of it overlaps and it makes me sad.

so like, im not being critical. im not exactly a master songwriter, ha.

That sucks haha.


I'm hanging out with some friends in an hourish, so maybe I can convince one of them to record some drums for me; I might have an idea or two for a bit of a bit of a bigger section.

hmm you were expecting a bit of a buildup? :/

That kinda sucks because I've tried buildups before and somehow I end up losing the momentum or making it generic (like, the let's-do-the-same-thing-except-this-time-with-distortion kinda thing, which I can't really do for this song). Plus I'd probably need drums for even an Antlers or Bon Iver style buildup.

Thanks though, really.

I think you should repeat the buildup part (maybe a bit of a different rhythm or a more depressing or lighter voicing depending on the vibe you are going for), and have some pulsing kick-snare rhythm come in for that part (keep drums out from what you have now).

As the drums build up, try and go for different variants of whatever melody/arpeggios/riff/etc. you come up with to keep it interesting, almost like a solo while the drums crescendo. Once you reach the climax, instead of doing the expected thing and going right for the loud part, have everything stop except for a loud, spacious, distorted guitar chord, maybe with some subtle synths (dark ambient dissonant sounding synth) adding some eerie noises. Just keep letting that chord ring out (striking it every few measures). After a few measures of spacious noise, the drums begin a shorter, more forceful and to the point build-up. End the song with some really heavy, loud guitar and drums (but choose a riff and beat that's different from the rest of the song).

Everything right now is really good. I'm imagining this to be four minutes longer.

That's where I see the song going anyway. :p

All good ideas but I guess I ended up working with what I had. Came out decent:

Lyrics aren't anything :haha:

Sounds good, but are those lyrics gibberish?

Totally, I already said they were nothing :haha:

I figured if it works for Sigur Ros....

Probably, though I figured they sang in Icelanding, which is gibberish to me.

They sing in Iceland's language sometimes but mostly in a fake one. I can't tell when they are singing which