09-05-2014, 06:45 AM
Yeah. I'm in college but I can't buy myself a $0.25 scantron sheet for my test next week. Now my shame is likely going to be public. >_>
And don't worry, I'm going to make sure I am what I need to be by my 'deadlines'. I am simply not getting good results fast enough, and am basically a sub-human being at the moment until I get everything really moving, which requires funds on my part. I do not think attending college is actually going to enable me to do anything meaningful, and I do not think it makes my lack of human dignity any more excusable.
I know it will happen eventually, it will just happen too late, and until then I should be mad at myself. But I don't want to give the impression that just complain and don't do anything; I am always trying, but effort by itself doesn't mean shit.
I know I'm being annoying by doing what you told me not to do, and I understand where you're coming from. I just have very high standards for myself and if I'm going to achieve my vision I need to be this harsh.
And don't worry, I'm going to make sure I am what I need to be by my 'deadlines'. I am simply not getting good results fast enough, and am basically a sub-human being at the moment until I get everything really moving, which requires funds on my part. I do not think attending college is actually going to enable me to do anything meaningful, and I do not think it makes my lack of human dignity any more excusable.
I know it will happen eventually, it will just happen too late, and until then I should be mad at myself. But I don't want to give the impression that just complain and don't do anything; I am always trying, but effort by itself doesn't mean shit.
I know I'm being annoying by doing what you told me not to do, and I understand where you're coming from. I just have very high standards for myself and if I'm going to achieve my vision I need to be this harsh.