08-16-2014, 01:13 AM
this is Will the cock I do not think bob would appreciate this. :p
I don't necessarily lie but I generally don't tell the full truth about where I'm at and what I'm doing because they are very judgmental people and will lose respect for me over the littlest things. I basically have to put on a facade whenever I'm around them. It's pathetic how I have to defend myself because I drove/walked to the store to buy school supplies or some shit like that.
For example, when I went to meet Blake when he was in my city, I told the truth about where I was going. But I didn't tell them how I got there because they associate walking and taking the bus with being a criminal and they have told me they don't want me doing it, even if it's not an official rule. But I have never denied doing it either.
Sometimes I'll be with a girl or something (platonic mind you >_>) and they'll call me wondering exactly where I'm at and exactly what I'm doing at that moment and why I didn't come home immediately after I did whatever it is I said we're doing. I tell them when I expect to be home, but I don't think this type of thing is really any of their business, unless you want to argue that they are concerned about their car's safety. Even when I tell them what I'm doing they get more intrusive. I get most caring parents do this example but they are crazy about it, especially when I get chastised over it for an hour when I get back because I didn't tell them specifically what I was doing in someone's house.
And since 'Peter North Stars' (I believed you and googled that buy the way. Lol) brought up a healthy social life, I'll say this: My lack of a meaningful social life is my own fault and I'm not blaming anyone else, but if I did have one I bet they would hinder it. A couple of weeks ago I had to persuade them for ten minutes just to go to a movie with some people I went to school with. They have said no to stuff like this before, and I feel like this is overbearing for an 18 year old.
If they were to see this thread and post in it they would say that I am overly negative and deny some of it (while admitting to other parts). This is what they tell me when I confront them, and I go with it thinking maybe we built a better understanding. Then they slide right back into pulling the same tricks. In practice I'm only 'allowed' to do what they like to do and how they to do it, and that's partially what I mean when I say they're trying to make me grow up the exact way they did (though there's more to this, and this is something they'd deny. It might not be a conscious thing they do, but they are definitely doing it).
I'm probably coming off as overly harsh now and again, I'm not trying to make it seem like a serious problem. They are good in other ways. But this is honestly insulting, and it's only a minor method they use to intrude into my life.
To make this more than just me talking about superficial things, I'll state what I see to be a reasonable relationship between parents and their 18 year old living at home:
1. I help in maintaining the home.
2. I clean up after myself.
3. I respect house rules (I mean stuff like no smoking, not 'I am suddenly not allowed to go somewhere').
4. Obvious shit like not being loud and disrespectful, not randomly bringing people over with no permission, etc.
5. Pay rent (depending on the agreement)
6. Respect other people's privacy
7. As the kid, it's reasonable for parent's to be concerned for their kid's safety, so I don't mind telling them where I'm going or whatever to a reasonable extent.
8. Since you keep mentioning the car, respect when they need it, etc.
9. It's also reasonable to expect me to get a job (which I've been working on) and/or to do something that will advance my career so I can move out sooner rather than later (which I am doing by going to college).
I don't necessarily lie but I generally don't tell the full truth about where I'm at and what I'm doing because they are very judgmental people and will lose respect for me over the littlest things. I basically have to put on a facade whenever I'm around them. It's pathetic how I have to defend myself because I drove/walked to the store to buy school supplies or some shit like that.
For example, when I went to meet Blake when he was in my city, I told the truth about where I was going. But I didn't tell them how I got there because they associate walking and taking the bus with being a criminal and they have told me they don't want me doing it, even if it's not an official rule. But I have never denied doing it either.
Sometimes I'll be with a girl or something (platonic mind you >_>) and they'll call me wondering exactly where I'm at and exactly what I'm doing at that moment and why I didn't come home immediately after I did whatever it is I said we're doing. I tell them when I expect to be home, but I don't think this type of thing is really any of their business, unless you want to argue that they are concerned about their car's safety. Even when I tell them what I'm doing they get more intrusive. I get most caring parents do this example but they are crazy about it, especially when I get chastised over it for an hour when I get back because I didn't tell them specifically what I was doing in someone's house.
And since 'Peter North Stars' (I believed you and googled that buy the way. Lol) brought up a healthy social life, I'll say this: My lack of a meaningful social life is my own fault and I'm not blaming anyone else, but if I did have one I bet they would hinder it. A couple of weeks ago I had to persuade them for ten minutes just to go to a movie with some people I went to school with. They have said no to stuff like this before, and I feel like this is overbearing for an 18 year old.
If they were to see this thread and post in it they would say that I am overly negative and deny some of it (while admitting to other parts). This is what they tell me when I confront them, and I go with it thinking maybe we built a better understanding. Then they slide right back into pulling the same tricks. In practice I'm only 'allowed' to do what they like to do and how they to do it, and that's partially what I mean when I say they're trying to make me grow up the exact way they did (though there's more to this, and this is something they'd deny. It might not be a conscious thing they do, but they are definitely doing it).
I'm probably coming off as overly harsh now and again, I'm not trying to make it seem like a serious problem. They are good in other ways. But this is honestly insulting, and it's only a minor method they use to intrude into my life.
To make this more than just me talking about superficial things, I'll state what I see to be a reasonable relationship between parents and their 18 year old living at home:
1. I help in maintaining the home.
2. I clean up after myself.
3. I respect house rules (I mean stuff like no smoking, not 'I am suddenly not allowed to go somewhere').
4. Obvious shit like not being loud and disrespectful, not randomly bringing people over with no permission, etc.
5. Pay rent (depending on the agreement)
6. Respect other people's privacy
7. As the kid, it's reasonable for parent's to be concerned for their kid's safety, so I don't mind telling them where I'm going or whatever to a reasonable extent.
8. Since you keep mentioning the car, respect when they need it, etc.
9. It's also reasonable to expect me to get a job (which I've been working on) and/or to do something that will advance my career so I can move out sooner rather than later (which I am doing by going to college).