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mini kinda rant cuz I'm feeling anxious as fuck right now

I don't understand how people my age and younger can just decide on what they want to do for the rest of their life. It makes no sense to me and is just this gigantic decision. I see all of these people at school who are just so set in what they want to do. I've never felt that way about anything really. Obviously there is stuff I'm interested in but it either is just not something I feel like I want to do for a long time, or it's just something that would never work as a job or you'd have to be incredibly lucky to get there.

Right now I'm going for my RN, and am actually excited about it, but it still scares me. Like what if I don't like it once I'm there? What happens? I just saw my cousin who is in medical school to be an anesthesiologist and the starting, STARTING, salary for that is $300,000. Like fuck me, should I go all out and focus on medical school since I'm already in that field. Or should I just be happy with what I'm doing. So many decisions.

I'm not trying to sound like a dick. I'm incredibly lucky that I even get a chance to make these decisions on how my life will play out. Most aren't nearly as lucky. It's just that it's scary, you know? I feel so different about things than I did when I was 18. How am I gonna feel when I'm 30? I don't understand how people can be so confident that they know what they want to do.
I feel you man. I know someone who wants to be an equine chiropractor and I don't understand how someone can know, at 16, they want to do something so specific. It's crazy. I think I want to go into biology/biochemistry, or maybe ecological science, but I don't really know what for. And in many ways, I'd rather go into something more creative, but then, I'd probably hate that as a career and rather keep creativity as a hobby.

What you have to remember is, in some ways, it doesn't matter if you change your mind. I mean, Dara O'Briain has a degree in Physics. Physics. How does that help his stand-up career? Well, it doesn't, besides some extra background knowledge for appearances on QI and a routine about how useless his degree his for his career choice. My sister spent the last two years of her "high school" education solely concentrating on photography. She now works as a teaching assistant in a school for mentally handicapped children. A Level 3 BTEC in Photography isn't much use there, but she still does it and it's what she wants to do and she enjoys it. Of course, that's a little different, as it's a lower level to what you're talking about and it was government-funded, unlike uni, but the point is, you can change if you're no longer happy.

The thing is, you can only know what you feel like right now, in the present; you can't know what you'll feel like in the future. You can plan for it, but you can't live in it until it happens. And then it's the present. The whole business continues on and on and on. The future is fucking terrifying, in all it's forms. Good and bad. But really it's just the present that hasn't happened yet.

Education and qualifications are important, especially in your field, but they're not everything. Do what'll make you happy now and what is most likely to make you happy in the future. Even if it doesn't, eh, life's a bitch, but you can probably do something about it. Let 30-year-old you worry about 30-year-old you.

It's a right bugger of a fact, but people change, including you. It's annoying as hell.
I know that I really just want to do music, but failing that I would have no idea. Like I'm getting my Math/Physics degree, and the obvious endgame there is a PhD in one or both, but I have no idea what the hell I'd do then. And I don't know what areas of Math and Physics I'm even interested in because I just don't feel like I know enough about them.
maps Wrote:*stuff*

thanks man. Nice to know I'm not alone in feeling like that, haha

It just kinda gets to you when it seems like everyone has their shit together (even though I know it's not true) and I'm still bumbling around deciding "what I want to be when I grow up" as cliched as that sounds.

That said though, I am pretty happy with what I'm doing at the moment. I'm just in a really anxious mood right now, and it makes my mind race through all these thoughts and I start questioning everything.

(04-02-2014, 09:53 PM)Danjo Wrote: [ -> ]I know that I really just want to do music, but failing that I would have no idea. Like I'm getting my Math/Physics degree, and the obvious endgame there is a PhD in one or both, but I have no idea what the hell I'd do then. And I don't know what areas of Math and Physics I'm even interested in because I just don't feel like I know enough about them.
exactly. I know I like this field but once you're studying it everyone wants to know how you want to narrow it down. I'm pretty much in the starting steps of all the medical stuff, and now everyone wants to know exactly what I want to do with it. I was so relieved that I just made the decision to start this, and now it's like 20 different questions have to be answered. Like you said, how am I supposed to answer them when I feel like I'm just getting introduced into the field.
I would definitely recommend doing some research online, but yeah, theres a limit. I feel like I'll have a good idea by the end of my senior year I'll have a pretty good idea what this math and physics shit is about, but for now I just haven't been exposed to enough stuff to know what I like and what I don't like.
One of my facebook friends just posted this "What we do does not define who we are, what defines us is how well we rise after falling."

What the fuck is that even supposed to mean?
What we do does not define us
What we do after failing defines us

Dat logic
Your friends knows the secrets to this earth
(04-04-2014, 04:35 AM)Danjo Wrote: [ -> ]What the fuck is that even supposed to mean?
That your friend is more profound than he is intelligent.
(04-04-2014, 04:35 AM)Danjo Wrote: [ -> ]One of my facebook friends just posted this "What we do does not define who we are, what defines us is how well we rise after falling."

What the fuck is that even supposed to mean?
It means that rising up after failure/tragedy can make you a better person essentially, which holds truth in that people who deal with failure/tragedy well do become better people. The flipside is that those who just give up are stuck in some mire of pity.

The problem is, the first part of the quote (the "What we do does not define who we are," part) is actually quite wrong. If I lie all the time, I become a pathological liar. If I try to always tell the truth, I become an honest person. If I work hard constantly, I become known as a hard worker. If I'm lazy all the time, I become known as lazy. And so on. What I do in times of non-failure/tragedy defines my future, if for no other reason than it changes how I tend to act habitually.

I would argue that both what we do defines us AND what we do after failure/tragedy defines us. You need both.