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I'm not that bad and I'm at least self-aware :p

I really want to like Al but I just don't find his music/lyrics that funny anymore. :/
(08-15-2014, 09:04 PM)carlcockatoo Wrote: [ -> ]I am sucking it up that's why I didn't go anyway.

Even so I don't that just makes it okay. When adults live together they shouldn't act this way (and I understand I'm being childish too by spouting about it).

I've done the mature thing and told them 'with all due respect you guys should respect my decisions' and they say they agree, but in practice stuff like this happens.
Ok...but here's the thing. Are they paying for your food, clothing, TV/internet usage, etc.? So...in that sense, you're not a fully independent adult. I could totally see your point if you owned the car, paid them rent & food & bill money, and were basically acting as a tenet. But you're not.


I know it sucks. I had the same situation until a few months ago. My parents paid for most everything (including a large portion of my university costs), but I was a legal adult.

But if they're paying for most everything, then they basically can dictate what you do with their stuff (like where/when/how you use the cars they own). Right?
They wouldn't let me have a job until I was 18 (with a few exceptions in which they agreed to let me apply) so they can't really play that card.

You know what I wanted to do? Drive down to the college campus and pay off the rest of my tuition (still don't have a job but I've made a few hundred from babysitting lol it's like I'm 10).

I'm trying to be self-sufficient so they can't play that card on me when they are deliberately preventing me from being so.

I do use the car they own but I have taken the bus before. But that's not what bothers me about it anyway.

Like I am fully okay with not using the car. They told me to stay home.
Weird Al's Foil video is the best thing he's done in ages
(08-15-2014, 09:24 PM)wwf Wrote: [ -> ]Weird Al's Foil video is the best thing he's done in ages

That actually is (just watched it).

His stuff is well done the style of humor just doesn't appeal to me anymore. :/

Edit: I also want to make it clear to you all that when I post about the superficial stuff like this it's never meant to be a serious tone. I do genuinely dislike it but it's not supposed to be too serious. If it were about actually serious family shit (i.e. not this) it'd be more serious, but that generally stays off the internet. Right now my immediate family doesn't have anything like that anyway (my extended family is hella fucked up though).

This thread is mostly self-aware complain mode, and right now I'm just offended. :p
(08-15-2014, 09:19 PM)carlcockatoo Wrote: [ -> ]They wouldn't let me have a job until I was 18 (with a few exceptions in which they agreed to let me apply) so they can't really play that card.
Actually, since any job you would have before 18 probably wouldn't earn you enough to be fully independent, they kind of can...Confusedhrug:

Quote:You know what I wanted to do? Drive down to the college campus and pay off the rest of my tuition (still don't have a job but I've made a few hundred from babysitting lol it's like I'm 10).
Ok, cool. Not unreasonable. But...neither it is unreasonable of them to decide you can't use the car now. Did you tell them why you wanted to use the car?

Quote:I'm trying to be self-sufficient so they can't play that card on me when they are deliberately preventing me from being so.
So...tell them you are moving out. Before you do, make sure you can actually move out though. Have a well-laid out plan.

Quote:I do use the car they own but I have taken the bus before. But that's not what bothers me about it anyway.

Like I am fully okay with not using the car. They told me to stay home.
Ok. And?

Yes, it sucks. But, so what?
(08-15-2014, 10:13 PM)crazysam23 Wrote: [ -> ]Actually, since any job you would have before 18 probably wouldn't earn you enough to be fully independent, they kind of can...Confusedhrug:

Wasn't trying to say that it would earn my enough. I know how much I need to move, and it's going to a few years. If they only recently decided to allow me to take the first steps though I don't appreciate being talked down to.

Quote:Ok, cool. Not unreasonable. But...neither it is unreasonable of them to decide you can't use the car now. Did you tell them why you wanted to use the car?

I don't care if they tell me I can't use their car. I'm cool with them not letting me use their things.

Quote:So...tell them you are moving out. Before you do, make sure you can actually move out though. Have a well-laid out plan.

Obviously I can't do that. But if I could I'm not allowed to leave, lol.

Quote:Ok. And?

Yes, it sucks. But, so what?

I've already acknowledged that this isn't a real issue, but it doesn't stop me from feeling insulted. Is it really reasonable that they told me I can't leave the house to go do something mature when I'm 18 and I haven't even broken any of their rules or anything? I already know what their expectations are of me, and I follow all of their rules. We have agreed that when I have a real paycheck I will pay any additional costs that I am the cause of (tuition, clothes, gas, I've offered to pay rent, etc.). That's not the issue. What I am insulted by is I'm trying to be better than this and do the right thing. Even if they are technically justified it's really immature to be like 'we're not letting you this' when this 'this' is perfectly reasonable and mature. Aside from spouting on the internet like an idiot I haven't done anything bad.

I just find it insulting is all. It's not even really about 'household rules'.

For real though I'm considering deleting every one of my posts here because I think it gives you the impression that my entire life revolves around shit like this. Granted my life pretty much does revolve around 'rich people' superficiality, egotism and materialism but I hope you all understand that I keep 'real' personal matters off the internet and that there is more depth to me than this. Confusedunny:

I tried to make this obvious by the six lol's in my first post on this topic.
(08-15-2014, 09:01 PM)crazysam23 Wrote: [ -> ]Well...you have 2 options:
  • Obey their rules (and therefore suck it up)
    OR
  • Move out.

Confusedhrug:

A mentality like this is out of date and is a major reason why slip is having an issue.

It's hard for parents of an older generation to understand that the current landscape for young people isn't what they grew up with. Kids are staying with their parents longer as a necessity and as a sacrifice for their future. Being restrictive and overbearing like that just hinders the kid from growing up. I'm sure a kid loves living with helicopter parents restricting them with silly middle-school restrictions and having a complete lack of freedom/independence.

Your statement seems to be the "it's not you it's me" of parenting. Once upon a time any dickhead with a high-school degree could wander out and make something of himself with a bit of hard work. Not the case anymore.

I moved out when I was 18, then I moved back because I had financial obligations I was not going to be able to fulfill while having cancer.. It was terrible and I had incredibly understanding parents that let me do my own thing. So I understand what it's like, I was in that situation for nearly two years.

If you want them to treat you like an adult, start acting like an adult. Talk to them, explain where you are coming from and keep a level head. If you don't get your way, you don't get your way. That's life.

Maybe it won't happen overnight, but they'll eventually come around. If you consistently don't act like a kid they won't treat you like one. Parents are rarely perfect but they are just trying to do the best they can and I'm sure their intentions are good.

Just chill out man. I know it sucks, but lots of stuff in life sucks. It's all about how you handle it. I'm sure you know that your parents care about you and they aren't out to get you or any of that silly stuff.

edit: ^ and don't be so self-deprecating man, lol.
Woah I saw that Thrash was posting and I thought 'I'm about to get torn up let's go. 8) ' but that is actually a good post and you explained to sam the idea I was trying to convey but better.

And yes I do not intend to portray my parents as these awful people as dumb as my posts here are. We have a weird relationship (not a bad one like brad's or worse :/ hope he's doing well) that I will not divulge into here but my theory is that a lot of this comes from the fact that our priorities are different. By priorities I don't mean things like education and finances. I just mean that I have my own goals and those aren't the same goals they and for themselves when they were my age. I don't want to be them when I grow up (I don't mean this in a disrespectful way). And they don't like it.

I'm sure it will blow over and I am already less mad. :flower:

Aw fuck I forgot about your cancer I hope that is going better. ;_; I understand that you probably don't like talking about it and I'm not expecting a response to this part, but I want you to know I care.